Banking commission reveals that customers were also charged for the lubricant after being “f#$ked’

The recent inquiry into the big banks has not just revealed exuberant fees and unnecessary charges, it has been made public that the banks were even charging back the cost of the lubricant used to screw its customers a report says. The cost of the lubricant roughly cost each customer around AUD $100 per year 

“well of course. I mean, how else are we supposed to f$%k over large volumes of people at the same time without them noticing? You really gotta get in real quick”

Bank spokesperson

A representative for one of the big banks said that “well of course. I mean, how else are we supposed to f$%k over large volumes of people at the same time without them noticing? You really gotta get in real quick” While another one of the large banks has released the following statement:

‘We would like to apologise however we want our customers to know that we were also acting in their best interests. It is because of our strict QHSE policies that a lubricant be used; not just to stop you from feeling it but also to protect you. We want to assure you that we use only water based lubricants made from natural ingredients and will continue to do so.’ 

“A hundred bucks a year? thats a lot of lube”

Mike Hunt, Brisbane.

Customers showed their frustration by again taking to social media to vent their frustrations, some saying that they weren’t surprised and others claiming they knew they felt something. Commonwealth Bank customer Mike Hunt says “$100 bucks a year? Wow thats a lot of lube”