Spike in Arrests As Dozens Attempt To Cross Border Dressed as Tom Hanks

‘While we are all equal, some of us are more equal than others’

Queensland police have said that they have arrested dozens of desperate southerners attempting to cross the border posing as Tom Hanks. The state police commissioner tells the Daily that people have been dressing up as Tom Hanks out of various movies to confuse the officers posted at the border while they attempt to attend funerals and see family members. The increase comes after Queensland Chief Medical Officer Jeannette Young granted special privelege to Hanks allowing him back in the country citing actors bring a lot more money than funerals do.

Police say they arrested one couple dressed as a castaway and volleyball along with dozens of people trying to pass as forrest Gump with one family trying to smuggle their child stuffed in a box dressed up as Zoltar the fortune teller machine from the movie BIG. The premier’s office has released a statement saying that “While we are all equal, some of us are more equal than others and the state needs every dollar it can get. We must remember that these people are elites and their money is worth more than yours”