Daniel Andrews Selected Into Test Squad vs India After “Spectacular Display Of Spin”

“I still like to have a bit of a bat in the shower every now and then and even faced a couple of balls this morning”

Victorian Premier Dan Andrews and been drafted by selectors into Australia’s Test Cricket squad after an amazing display of spin was put on at yesterdays press conference. Andrews made such a bowl of word salad that cooking show hosts were even said to be impressed. 

Rumours are also surfacing amongst football circles that a few AFL teams are looking at drafting him for their 2021 season after talent scouts were vocal in saying that he showed ‘amazing ability to handball any responsibility of the bungled Hotel quarantine fiasco and the ducking and weaving his way through questions was just outstanding.

Andrews says he is excited about being selected and mentioned that like most Australian schoolboys, he grew up playing cricket when he attended the Marist Brothers’ Galen Catholic College in northeastern Victoria where he claims he was taught to ‘always aim for the crack’ and ‘use a bit of saliva to get one side of your balls shiny’. Andrews also boasts that “while he is good at spin, he considers himself to be a bit of an all-rounder and says that he “still likes to have a bit of a bat in the shower every now and then and even faced a couple of balls this morning” 

Andrews finished with an impressive scorecard yesterday managing to deliver a ball rivalling the king of spin Shane Warne by sneaking one past Victorian Health Minister Jenny Mikakos and quite literally throwing her under a bus finishing her career. 

‘always aim for the crack and use a bit of saliva to get one side of your balls shiny’