Amazing! News network launches “Snowflakes” breakfast cereal with journalism degree on the back

With things not looking good for the network, CNN has diversified and launched a breakfast cereal wich tastes and feels like you are watching the real thing. The healthy alternative called ‘Snowflakes’ is packed with iron and everything else you need to start your day. Flip the box around and BOOM! There’s a real journalism degree you can cut out and use and do journalism just like the pros. The boxes will also feature a different news anchor or journalist and with this degree, you could one day find yourself on there too! Jim Acosta is the frontman for the new cereal and an anonymous source says that he likes the sharp flavour as it slides down the back of his throat, and as Jim sure knows a thing or two about liking things that slide down his throat.

Given that in order to be a journalist these days, all you need to do is add an adjective to the headline such as “shocking!” “amazing” or “so brave” so it was only a matter of time before these degrees would become available to anybody. Just by adding any of the beforementioned words you are pretty much qualified to work for yahoo news. Frame an article in a way that completely contradicts the clickbait headline and you are well on your way to working for a major paper.